Flow.

Oftentimes I find myself searching and for what, I wish I knew. Sometimes I don't know whether I should be annoyed or angry with my lack of contentedness, or just let it be. Humans, in general, are always pursuing something, and probably a different thing at any given time; a new job, money, social acceptance, vanity, material goods, etc. As of late, my thoughts and dreams have blown up to the point where blogs that I have thought about posting seem either much too trivial or much too personal, or spacey, for lack of better words. There is much to share, but the timing is off. I'm still in discovery and wondering how to make sense of it all, as well as learning that not everything should or can be deciphered immediately. A precursor to stage 4, otherwise known as a quarter-life-crisis in upon me. Sigh.

Saturday afternoon, a surpising 65-and-sunny day graced us with her lovely presence. I haven't been spending much time at the park across the street mostly because I need to get my priorities in check. But mostly, because I've been busy; a lame, overused, festering excuse. So, I grabbed Bill Plotkin's Soulcraft (a book that I've been reading for over 2 months, because I've been too busy) and ventured outside. The warm, humid (November?) air embraced my face as if summer and I had met again, like old friends. I settled on one of the sunniest spots in the park on a cedar bench and dug in. The inner is no less real than the outer, and, although it is part of us, it is not literally inside our skin. We imagine the unconscious... WOOF. HONK, HONK! CHIRP. SCREEEEEECH.

Although the parks that sprinkle our metro area are a godsend, they are still band-aids, meant to exercise, relax and otherwise distract us from the destruction that we are causing our mother earth. Onward, ...Looked at with soulcentric eyes, every dream reveals hidden...[insert sounds of basketballs hitting concrete, baseballs hitting bats, laughter, traffic, more dogs barking, birds chirping, doors slamming here]. GAHHhh. So. hard. to. focus. After 20 minutes or so, I nearly gave up, lost all hope and almost my sanity and headed back inside to the cave that I call home. Away from all the humanity. It sounded good at the time, but that sun was just too damn good to me and us Minnesotans take our sunshine when we can get it.

Again, ...Looked at with soulcentric eyes, every dream reveals hidden potentials of our deeper lives and stories and provides the opportunity for the ego to be rooted more firmly in the soils of soul.... I looked up at a tall oak tree, I felt warm and much more relaxed. Many pages and many minutes flew by without my knowledge, without my care, without my stress, without my anxiety, without distraction. Flow. A term that is coined by psychologist, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, as a "state of heightened focus and immersion in activities such as art, play and work." Flow, for me, usually only occurs when I'm outdoors; gardening, biking, hiking, walking, exploring, anything really. It has always been that way, especially as a young girl. Kelsey lately is on the pursuit of flow. Happiness will be not far behind.

Calypso Bean

Of all the wonderful things in the wonderful universe of God, nothing seems to me more surprising than the planting of a seed in the blank earth and the result thereof.  

Julie Moir Messervy

The Black Calypso Bean, otherwise referred to as orca or yin yang is an heirloom variety. I purchased the seeds through Seed Savers Exchange, who say that the beans were originally found in the Caribbean. Besides being one of the best for baking and soups, this full-of-flavor bean wears a dramatic outer shell, which is just, awesome. Many of our high school friends back in the rural homestead have followed in their parent's footsteps and taken on conventional farming. It's a bit of crazy-making conversation when we find ourselves together, but that's a whole 'nother can of worms. One night on 'the town,' Jon, still in his garden jeans, discovered a few Calypso Beans from a test picking earlier. We weren't surprised when there was little interest in the beans that we had proudly harvested. A few minutes and a few changes of subject later, a gentleman approached Jon and I and through his heavy, Mexican accent he spoke, "Those beans...can I see those beans?" He must have noticed us admiring them, or rolling eyes at them, depending on who he had been watching.

When we flashed the beans, his eyes lit up with intrigue, "Where did you get these," he rang out. We explained to him that we had purchased them through the Seed Savers Exchange and he went on, "The last time I had seen these beans, it was over twenty years ago in Mexico." He proceeded to mention something almost inaudible with regard to his family. Realizing it was a bittersweet moment full of cherished memories, but of loved ones left behind was when we found all of our hearts sinking. "Take them," we insisted, "Plant them. Then you will have some to share." The man smiled from ear to ear and through his smile came the gracious, yet quiet, "Thank you."

This moving moment is one that will not be forgotten: we will never take for granted the power of an heirloom seed.

Grasshopper

A couple of months back, we started noticing some grasshoppers in the garden. Their welcome coincided with my reading of Animal Speak by Ted Andrews, a fascinating discovery of natures voices all around us.

Those with grasshopper totems have an uncanny ability to leap into successful ventures. This becomes even more true when they learn to listen that inner voice and follow their own instincts.

Sometimes grasshoppers can show up if we are not listening or if we are afraid to make the leap off our mound. Many times such fears have to do with the fact that "no one else has done it that way." Grasshopper people have to learn to make new leaps. Life only becomes difficult when they refuse to move. At such times they may feel as if they are experiencing a scourge of themselves.

Remember a grasshopper always leaps up or forward. It doesn't leap backward.