Flow.

Oftentimes I find myself searching and for what, I wish I knew. Sometimes I don't know whether I should be annoyed or angry with my lack of contentedness, or just let it be. Humans, in general, are always pursuing something, and probably a different thing at any given time; a new job, money, social acceptance, vanity, material goods, etc. As of late, my thoughts and dreams have blown up to the point where blogs that I have thought about posting seem either much too trivial or much too personal, or spacey, for lack of better words. There is much to share, but the timing is off. I'm still in discovery and wondering how to make sense of it all, as well as learning that not everything should or can be deciphered immediately. A precursor to stage 4, otherwise known as a quarter-life-crisis in upon me. Sigh.

Saturday afternoon, a surpising 65-and-sunny day graced us with her lovely presence. I haven't been spending much time at the park across the street mostly because I need to get my priorities in check. But mostly, because I've been busy; a lame, overused, festering excuse. So, I grabbed Bill Plotkin's Soulcraft (a book that I've been reading for over 2 months, because I've been too busy) and ventured outside. The warm, humid (November?) air embraced my face as if summer and I had met again, like old friends. I settled on one of the sunniest spots in the park on a cedar bench and dug in. The inner is no less real than the outer, and, although it is part of us, it is not literally inside our skin. We imagine the unconscious... WOOF. HONK, HONK! CHIRP. SCREEEEEECH.

Although the parks that sprinkle our metro area are a godsend, they are still band-aids, meant to exercise, relax and otherwise distract us from the destruction that we are causing our mother earth. Onward, ...Looked at with soulcentric eyes, every dream reveals hidden...[insert sounds of basketballs hitting concrete, baseballs hitting bats, laughter, traffic, more dogs barking, birds chirping, doors slamming here]. GAHHhh. So. hard. to. focus. After 20 minutes or so, I nearly gave up, lost all hope and almost my sanity and headed back inside to the cave that I call home. Away from all the humanity. It sounded good at the time, but that sun was just too damn good to me and us Minnesotans take our sunshine when we can get it.

Again, ...Looked at with soulcentric eyes, every dream reveals hidden potentials of our deeper lives and stories and provides the opportunity for the ego to be rooted more firmly in the soils of soul.... I looked up at a tall oak tree, I felt warm and much more relaxed. Many pages and many minutes flew by without my knowledge, without my care, without my stress, without my anxiety, without distraction. Flow. A term that is coined by psychologist, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, as a "state of heightened focus and immersion in activities such as art, play and work." Flow, for me, usually only occurs when I'm outdoors; gardening, biking, hiking, walking, exploring, anything really. It has always been that way, especially as a young girl. Kelsey lately is on the pursuit of flow. Happiness will be not far behind.